The world’s richest doctor (worth R150bn) was born and raised in South Africa

Patrick Soon-Shiong, the son of Chinese immigrants to
South Africa, is the world’s richest doctor and the
wealthiest resident of Los Angeles with a net worth of
almost R150-billion.

Soon-Shiong was born on 29 July 1952 and grew up
“coloured” in Port Elizabeth after his parents fled from
China during World War Two.

He finished high school when he was 16 and received his medical degree from the University of the Witwatersrand at 23, finishing fourth out of 189 graduates.

He moved to Canada, then to the US, after doing an
internship at the all-white Johannesburg General Hospital where he was paid half the salary of everyone else.

Fighting cancer, making money

Soon-Shiong became well-known during the 1980s for
transplanting pancreas cells to treat diabetes.

He invented the world’s first protein nanoparticle delivery technology to treat breast cancer, doubling the response rate in patients.

He founded two drug companies, Abraxis and American
Pharmaceutical Partners, which he sold for R112-billion.

He holds 50 US patents, including that of block buster
pancreatic cancer drug Abraxane.

Revolutionising healthcare

Soon-Shiong founded Nantworks in 2001 to developed
technology that can analyse genetic data from tumours in mere seconds.

Through Nantworks Soon-Shiong aims to realise his vision of future cancer treatments where all sorts of technologies such as diagnostics, networked supercomputers and personalised mixtures of cancer drugs converge to manage cancer and achieve a sustained, disease-free state.

Giving his billions away

Forbes ranks Soon-Shiong’s fortune among the 100
largest in the US.

Soon-Shiong, as a member of the Buffett/Gates Giving
Pledge, plans to give away half of his sizeable fortune
while he is still alive.

To date has given away hundreds of millions of dollars and funds numerous healthcare projects in the US.

4 s*xual Sins Every Christian Should Avoid

There are at least four primary s*xual sins the Word of God speaks of: adultery, fornication, uncleanness and
lewdness.

Here are the
definitions of these four s*xual sins:

1- Adultery: Unlawful s*xual intercourse involving at least one married person. Adultery is incompatible with the harmonious laws of family life in God’s kingdom, and is under God’s judgment since it violates God’s original purpose.

2- Fornication: p****graphy, illicit s*xual intercourse
including prostitution, whoredom, inc*st, licentiousness
(lack of moral restraint), and habitual immorality (would include s*xual fantasies that lead to self service).

3- Uncleanness: Often refers to homosexuality and
lesbianism

4- Lewdness: unashamed indecency, unbridled lust,
unrestrained depravity (a disposition or settled tendency to evil, the innate corruption of unregenerate man), the person with this characteristic has an insolent defiance of public opinion, sinning in broad daylight with arrogance and contempt. Again, this often refers to s*xual sin. Here’s where many people err in their understanding of their se*uality. Notice the following verses. “Foods for the stomach and the stomach for foods, but God will destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for s*xual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. And God both raised up the Lord and will also raise us up by His power” (1 Cor. 6:13-14).

Paul is correcting the dangerous misconception among
the Corinthians who believed, “as the stomach is
designed for food, the private parts are created for
s*xual experience.” This mind-set is not only common
among unregenerate human beings but also among
Christians who justify s*xual immorality. Paul shows how this analogy is false because your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost and belongs to Christ. Eating food is a secondary and temporal arrangement, but se*uality reaches into the eternal and metaphysical depths of one’s being. An essential identity exists between the present physical body and the future glorified body (v 14). s*xual intercourse is more than a biological experience; it involves a communion of life.

Since Jesus is one with the born-again believer’s spirit, it is unthinkable to involve Him with immorality; thus the strong admonition not to let the sin of fornication and all uncleanness “even be named among you” (Eph. 5:3;emphasis added). se*uality is a uniquely profound aspect of the personality involving one’s entire being. s*xual immorality has far-reaching effects, with great spiritual significance and social implications (v18).

Such immorality is not only a sin against the body but against the Holy Spirit, who dwells in the body. It is one of the ways we are to discern the Lord’s body, which when consistently neglected, as I stated earlier, often brings weakness, sickness, and even premature death. Regardless of how satisfying and fulfilling s*x is in its rightful place within the marriage, it is still a temporal arrangement and not a part of our eternal existence. And yet by it we procreate and give birth to eternal spirits. s*xual immorality messes with the power of procreation with someone to whom you are not married. The s*xual drive is not sinful, but it is hurtful if not kept in its proper place. Scripture
forbids s*xual immorality in order to protect you.

Politicians, businesses, schools and our public
institutions are not qualified to handle the subject of
s*xual immorality and deviate s*x problems we have in
our culture. They are a part of the problem, not the
solution. Sadly though, the church has fallen so short of addressing this problem from a strong scriptural
perspective. Some churches no longer even believe what.the Bible says about s*xual immorality is pertinent. One high-ranking church official said that the church is going to have to come to an understanding of homosexuality according to the changing culture. That is one of the biggest problems in the church today. Many of us are conforming to the standards of the culture around us.

Another well-known charismatic television preacher told his audience that homosexuality is not sin but
brokenness. “What do you think David and Jonathan
were doing? What do you think Ruth and Naomi were
doing?” implying that they were involved in homosexual
and lesbian relationships. I had to shake my head at that one. And yet this preacher is considered one of the
greatest preachers in America with a very large following. It turns out that one of his own children is a homosexual.

Although this is a very crushing trial for any godly
parent to have to face, one cannot be loyal to his family at the expense of betraying God’s holy Word.

When influential preachers say erroneous things like that, it opens the door for deception and compromise among masses of people who respect these preachers.

This will lead to a flood of evil, immorality, and all kinds of perversion among the hearers of such. It is sad to see the dilution of sound doctrine in much of the church
today. It is grievous to the Holy Spirit to see such
cowardice and compromise among preachers who have
either departed from the true faith or who are afraid to
teach sound doctrine in the area of s*xual morality. As a result, our children and young people are getting
educated by the reprobate minds of the world. Let the
preachers of righteousness speak up with strength and conviction, for the time is here when many are not
enduring sound doctrine, but with itching ears are
heaping up teachers unto themselves.

– 7 Ways To Keep Your man-hood healthy!!!

You can take steps to protect
your man-hood health and overall health. For example:

1. Be sexually responsible. If you are not married, abstinence is the key. Use condoms and be faithful to your partner who’s been tested and is free of sexually transmitted infections.

2. Get vaccinated. If you’re age 26 or younger, consider
the human papillomavirus (HPV) vaccine to help prevent private part warts.

3. Stay physically active. Moderate physical activity can significantly reduce your risk of erectile dysfunction.

4. Practice good hygiene. If you’re not circumcised,
regularly clean beneath your foreskin with soap and
water.

5. Know your medications. Discuss medication use and
possible side effects with your doctor.

6. Pay attention to your mental health. Seek treatment
for depression and other mental health conditions.

7. Stop smoking and limit the amount of alcohol you
drink. If you smoke, take the first step and decide to quit— then ask your doctor for help.

Remember, some man-hood problems can’t be prevented.
However, routinely examining your man-hood can give
you greater awareness of the condition of your man-
hood and help you detect changes. Regular checkups can also help ensure that problems affecting your man-hood are diagnosed as soon as possible.

While you might find it difficult to discuss problems
affecting your man-hood with your doctor, don’t let
embarrassment prevent you from taking charge of your
health.

Female Student Arrested For Staging Her Kidnap To Extort N500,000 From

A female student of Delta State University, Belynda
Chinwe Bosa, has been arrested by the police in the
state for staging her own kidnap in a desperate bid to
extort money from her parents.

Mrs Beatrice Bosa reported that her
daughter, Belynda, who resides in Lagos, was travelling
from Lagos to Abraka in Delta State when she was
kidnapped along the way by unknown gunmen.

She claimed her abductors were demanding a ransom of N500,000.00 but was surprised that her boyfriend and his brother demanded N10million from her parents. The boyfriend, who was also arrested, confessed to the crime…

He claimed that he came from overseas and that both of them wanted to use the money to settle down – rent a flat, equip it and use part of the money to start a
business in Nigeria. What was he doing abroad?

Sequel to the report, operatives of Special Anti-
Kidnapping Squad, Asaba, swung into action and
arrested one America Sunday Ogagawotu at Oyiobo,
Port-Harcourt, Rivers State, after withdrawing the
ransom money which was paid into his Ecobank account in Port-Harcourt.

Commissioner of Police, Delta State, Alkali Baba Usman,when contacted by Daily Independent revealed that the victim, on leaving Lagos went to her boyfriend, one George Itietie in Port-Harcourt where she, her boyfriend and America Sunday Ogagawatu planned to inform her parents that she was kidnapped so as to extort money from them.

He further disclosed that the female student, Belynda,
got N100,000.00 as her own share from the ransom of N500,000.00 paid by her parents.

The trio of Belynda, Itietie and Ogagawatu have
confessed to the crime.

Belynda’s parents are sad, they couldn’t believe their
“decent daughter” would be involved in such mess.

FCT Minister’s 19-Year-Old Nephew Kidnaps Brother, Demands N10m

The Bauchi state Police command have arrested a 19 year old man identified as Salisu Salmanu, who claims to be a nephew of the Minister of the Federal Capital Territory, Senator Bala Mohammed, for conniving with three of his friends to kidnap his own three year old younger brother, Abdulkadir Salmanu, and demanding a ransom of N10m from his father. Salisu is said to be the son of the elder brother of the FCT Minister.

According to a report by Punch, the state police
spokesperson, DSP Haruna Mohammed confirmed the
incident and said Salisu in company of his friends
identified as ; Imrana Abdullahi, 17, Abdullahi Mohammed, 19, and Umar Musa, 19, all residents of the Kofar Idi area of the Bauchi metropolis were arrested on February 28th.

“The suspects conspired with four others, now
at large, to kidnap one Abdulkadir Salmanu,
male and three years old Kofar Idi, took him to
Gwallameji and demanded 10m ransom from the
parents. The victim was liberated by the police
and efforts are ongoing to apprehend the other
fleeing suspects after which they will be
charged to court.”he said
When interrogated, Salisu said it was greed that
motivated him to kidnap his own brother.

“When we planned the kidnap, we agreed that
if we succeeded in getting the N10m, we should
buy a car. We also agreed that the rest of the
money should be left for spending as individual
deemed fit. Honestly, my father meets all my
needs. He pays my school fees and every other
thing I need. It is just greed and selfishness
which the devil put in our hearts. By God’s
grace, our hearts have totally changed since
this is our first time of doing this, and we pray
that God prevent a future recurrence.”

One of his accomplice, Abdullahi Mohammed when
interrogated said when they kidnapped the boy, they had no intention of  harming him…

“We took the child, not with the intention of
harming him, but so we could get money from
his father and release him. We demanded N10m,
but the father said he would pay N3m and we
insisted it was too small. We finally agreed
that he should pay N5m. Honestly, if we had
succeeded, we would not have returned the
money, but this would have been our first and
last operation,” he said.

The police say investigations into the matter is ongoing.

Source: Punch

Women's View About man-hood Size

Whoever coined the reassuring catchphrase “size
doesn’t matter” may have lied.

According to a new study in The Journal of s*xual
Medicine, one-third of women who frequently have
vaginal orgasms claim they’re more likely to climax when having s*x with men with larger penises.

Researchers asked more than 300 women how often they had s*x, how frequently they had vaginal and/or clitoral orgasms, and whether or not man-hood length influenced their ability to climax during intercourse.

Out of the 160 women who often experienced vaginal-only orgasms and had enough partners to compare sizes, one third said they preferred longer-than-average penises.

What exactly does “average” count for these days?
According to a study, you can compare your man-hood to the length of a 20-pound banknote or U.S. dollar bill, so 5.8 inches and 6.1 inches, respectively.

But before you start freaking out that you don’t measure up, keep this in mind: 60 percent of the women in the survey did report that size made no difference. What’s more, when Men’s Health surveyed 3,289 women on how happy they are with their s*x lives, only 7 percent of sexually satisfied women said that man-hood size was critical to their pleasure.

So sure, size may matter to some women, for some types of orgasms. But the good news is you can outsmart your size even if you come up short. Your secret weapons?

Passion, foreplay, and variety. Here’s how to make them work for you.

1. Give Her a Rubdown.

It isn’t your man-hood that keeps women coming back
for more, it’s your passion, says Yvonne K. Fulbright,
Ph.D., sexologist and Astroglide’s Health and Wellness
Ambassador. But that doesn’t always mean ripping her
clothes off as soon as you close the bedroom door.
Try this: Before you begin rounding the basis, start
small. Run your fingers through her hair, caress her jaw line, and return to massaging her scalp. Continue to work your fingers down her neck and on to her shoulders, stopping the massage every so often to briefly kiss her on the back of her head or on her ear.

2. Ice, Ice Baby!

If foreplay to you means a couple minutes of hands-on-
br**sts action, it’s time for a serious upgrade. You need
to show her you’re not in a hurry.
Try this: Remove her bra so you can kiss, nibble, and lick all over her br**sts. Take her bosom in your mouth and roll your tongue around its perimeter. Then pop an ice cube in your mouth and repeat the process. Once her bosom’s erect from temperature spike, remove the cube and continue until your mouth and tongue is warm again.

3. Enhance Your Erection.

Once she’s ready to go, choose a flattering position.
“Avoid missionary,” says Jen Landa, M.D., author of The s*x Drive Solution for Women. “You’re not able to
penetrate as deep and the angle doesn’t really
accentuate your size.” Instead, try these two positions,
the Flatiron and the cowgirl.

Why Men Sleep After S*x

Since the inception of se*uality, many reasons have
been given why men sleep just immediately after s*x;
with ‘they are selfish’ point topping the list of
reasons, many need to know the real reasons why this
has been prominent with men.

Although s*x has been referred to as one of the most
enjoyable things between a man and woman, the woman race has been on the search to know why men nods straight to sleep after a good s*x. With most women thinking ”dropping” straight into sleep by their men is a complete negative phenomena, the general notion has been that men are actually selfish to sleep immediately not minding how their mates feel about it.

Although men argue that the nature of sleeping
immediately after s*x is due to tiredness from its rigors,
Scientists have however found a good argument for men by confirming that ”men sleep after s*x because they just cannot help it”. In a recent publication by Punch, it has been ascertained that men sleep after s*x because they have little power over their bodies at that point in time, hence, not being able to stay awake after the whole rigor of s*x.

Scientists have said that men really do need to sleep
after s*x when they climax because their brains become
flooded with sleep-inducing chemicals such as oxytocin,
serotonin and prolactin. Also, the blood rush after the
climax depletes the muscles of energy-producing glycogenand because men typically have higher muscle density than women, they become more tired after s*x.

A research made it known that after s*x, a man’s
cerebral cortex, which is the ‘thinking’ area, shuts down
almost immediately after climax, in which two other
areas, the cingulate cortex and amygdale make the rest
of the brain to deactivate from s*xual desire. This
successive s*xual behavior has however been linked to
only humans alone according to research.

However it has been said that wives can talk to their
partners about how they feel after s*x, urging their
husbands to dedicate few minutes for them immediately after s*x, so as to help enhance the sleeping nature of their husbands after s*x. According to a Consultant Psychologist, Prof. Toba Elegbeleye, said s*x takes a lot of energy to complete and that there is tendency for the brain and the entire system to want to rest when such intense energy is exhibited.

He also made it known that
the location where the s*xual activity takes place also
has a way of affecting the man. In his words: “When you indulge in s*x, which usually takes place at night when people sleep naturally, it comes with a level of intensity that involves all your energy and whatever you can muster to make it have a shaking effect, after which the multi-nerve ends are relaxed. This makes people sleep easily.

“It also depends on where you do it. Usually, if it is a
legal encounter, which takes place in your own bedroom where you are comfortable, you might sleep, which is different from when you do it in your car or somewhere else under duress, that is not so comfortable.

“Another factor that could aid sleeping well after s*x is
eating good food prior to the act because you may not be able to do it well if you are hungry and the body
entertains only one urge at a time and hunger is as
strong an urge and a drive as s*x is. Other factors could be to have a pleasant room atmosphere with a good bed and if there is no thought of threatening financial burden or security issues in mind.”

How To Keep Your Manhood Up And Hard For Longer In 20 Ways

An erection is a funny thing. When it stays hard, you
feel great about yourself but when it goes limp, no
matter how hard you try, it can be the cause for some
serious psychological concern.

If you’re not really suffering from anymedical
conditions and still have a hard time keeping it hard,
there are ways to keep it up and raring to go when you
need it most. Just use these 20 tips on how to keep an
erection up and it’ll definitely make a difference in your
life in a couple of weeks.

1. Talk about your fantasies. Distract yourself from
your little head and use your big head in bed. Indulging in dirty talk and fantasies can help reignite the pleasure of s*x for both of you.

2. Get kinky. Speak about your secret fantasies and
fetishes with each other and indulge in them. Sometimes, all you need to bring your little guy up is a whole new s*xual experience!

3. Be comfortable in bed. Don’t carry your own weight
on your arms for too long when you’re on top of her.
Feel relaxed and avoid any scenarios that bother you like sweating too much, overeating before s*x or having s*x when you’re too tired.

4. Get innovative. Too much of a good thing can get
boring. Your girl may be the sexiest thing alive, but
unless you create new ways to enjoy each other in bed,
one of you may get bored which will eventually lead to
you feeling less satisfied and less horny.

5. Take time, don’t rush in. This is something most
guys don’t know and don’t care to know. Foreplay
always helps the guy hold on longer. You may think it’s
pointless, but by indulging in foreplay for 15 minutes
before penetration, your little guy would get more time to warm himself up for the act. Just don’t think about your erection until you have to penetrate her. And when it’s time, you can rest assured that he’ll be ready.

6. Don’t concentrate on your little head. Instead, just
focus on satisfying and pleasuring your partner. When
you spend too much time pondering over over how erect you are, you’d kill the fun which will in turn kill your erection.

7. Talk about it with your partner. When you can’t hold
on to a long erection, it’ll definitely leave both of you
upset. Learn to talk about it and reassure each other.
Always ensure that bad s*x is not getting in the way of
good love.

8. Breathe. Breathe deeply in the mornings. It helps
increase the oxygen in your blood flow and also calm you down when you’re stressed.

9. Work out and look sexy. Better yet, start working
out. A good cardio workout makes you feel fit and
healthy, and it greatly improves your flexibility and blood circulation. When you look good, you’d feel alive down there. And the increased blood circulation would ensure that your boneless buddy would be upright and hard for a long time.

10. Quit smoking if you can. Smoking destroys your
lungs which in turn affect the amount of oxygen your
lungs can absorb, which increases the fatigue in your
muscles and leaves you tired all the time. The more
oxygen in your body, the easier it will be for that all
important muscle to function down there.

11. Don’t self service too often. self service can be good
to control the problem of premature Release, but it’s not good if you want to keep it hard for a long time.

12. Party. Go out, meet people and have fun every day.
When you have an active lifestyle, your body will come
back alive because it would be loaded with happy
hormones that get activated when you interact with
others.

13. Flirt with others. The longer a man stays away from
flirting, the more his testosterone drops. Keep your libido on a high by indulging in a bit of flirty talk now and then and you’ll always enjoy s*x.

14. Don’t change positions too often in bed. You may
have heard that changing positions can be more fun. But by doing that, you’ll end up worrying too much about whether your member will continue to stay erect during each penetration and end up feeling more stressed.

15. Stop worrying about the last time. Well, yeah, you
had a hard time having a hard time the last time. But
guess what, this is not last time. You can’t expect s*x to feel awesome every time. And when you do have a dry spell, don’t let that bother you. Just indulge in foreplay,have fun and stop thinking about what went wrong thelast time.

16. Shed your inhibitions. Love your body. Many men
and women don’t like looking at their own bodies while
having s*x because they think it looks ugly. If your
physique bothers you, do something about it and get
over it as soon as you possibly can.

17. Remember the good times. Think of the first time
you and your girl had s*x or made out. And talk about it in bed. There’s something so sexually exciting about first times that it’ll bring the excitement and s*x appeal back instantly.

18. Don’t hurry it up. It may seem like a good idea to
slip it in quickly as soon as you know it’s hard, and feel
relieved that you were erect enough to penetrate her. But this routine will make you lose your confidence gradually and scare you away from slow and relaxed penetration over time.

19. Don’t think only about penetration. Lovemaking
isn’t all about putting it in. If you want to get it hard
and keep it hard, you need to learn to understand that
lovemaking isn’t just about the act of penetration. When you pay all the attention on penetration, it’s inevitable that you’ll end up putting a lot of pressure on yourself.
Take time to please her in other ways and you’ll see how relaxed and sensual s*x really can be.

20. Avoid s*x for a month. If nothing else works for
you, this definitely should. Take s*x out of the calendar
for an entire month, and that includes even seeing each
other unclad. But woo each other and arouse each other by going out often. Grind at parties, kiss in public and pet each other when you feel horny. By restricting s*x for a while, you can bring the arousal and curiosity back into bed. And that will definitely help you keep an erection up for as long as you have to perform.

My husband sleeps with my House Help – A woman’s cry for Help

A typical tale of what happens in homes these days…

As Alice drove to her friend’s place, she rehearsed what
to tell her. How would she tell her friend that Mike, her
husband, had impregnated Peace, her maid again? This
was the third time she would be seeking her friend’s
help in terminating the poor teenager’s pregnancy! She
made up her mind that this would be the last.

But Mary, her friend, disagreed with her vehemently.
“Alice, I cannot follow you to the clinic for another
abórtion. What if she loses her womb or her life in the
process? I think it is high time something was done to
your husband. He must stop sleeping with your maids,”
she said.

Alice felt humiliated by her friend’s outburst. She sat on
the chair and cried. Mike had always been a thorn in her flesh! For almost 12 years of marriage, she could not point at any good deed he had done in her life or the marriage. Her mind flashed back to the last discussion she had with him at home:

“You are always complaining that I have not done
anything for you in this marriage. Don’t you have four
beautiful children? How many of your mates have four
boys in their marriages?”

“But Mike, I am not talking about the children, I am
referring to the vices you have wrought in this marriage in the last 11 years. I am tired! You keep digressing to inanities when serious issues are discussed. So, how do you explain the pregnancy Peace is carrying?” Alice said accusingly.

“Pregnancy? Peace? Look here, woman, I don’t have a
clue of what you are insinuating and I have told you I
don’t want to have anything to do with either you or the stupid maids you bring to this house,” Mike said and left the house in anger. Things had always taken this pattern in their marriage!

She worked in a bank and had risen to a managerial
level. From the first year of their marriage, Alice had
always hired helps to mind the home, especially her
children, who all came in quick succession.

She had lost count of the number of domestic helps her
husband had slept with. Whether old or young, Mike was a randy man, who slept with her maids.

Ruth, the first child minder she hired after the birth of
her firstborn, was a Ghanaian. Plump and pretty, the
middle aged nanny was hired through a colleague. Ruth
was a single mother and had come to Nigeria to fend for her four children. Initially, Alice never suspected any foul play between the woman and her husband.

She was a very good nanny, who also helped with housekeeping and this saved Alice a lot of stress. Before she returned from work, there was food on the table and her baby would have been well taken care of.

Since her husband worked in the civil service, he arrived
home first and she was happy that he helped supervise
domestic staff especially the nanny. But after the birth
of Godson, their second child, Ruth insisted on leaving!

Alice begged that the nanny should wait and help nurture her baby because she was resuming work in less than a month. Ruth did not budge but said she wanted to go and stay with her children in Ghana.

When she resumed and lamented to her colleague who
brought Ruth to her, she was shocked to learn that Ruth was not in Ghana but had rented an apartment in town.

Alice got the address and traced the house where the
nanny lived. She wanted to beg her to return to her
home. It was a work day and she had closed early to
check on nanny Ruth. Was she shocked when she met
Mike there? He laid on the bed dressed in a pair of
boxers! She didn’t utter a word but left. Obviously, Mikerented the apartment for the nanny so that they wouldhave time for their escapade- her second baby wouldhave posed a hindrance.

If he apologised over Ruth’s case, he never did on Uzo,
the teenage girl she brought from the village. Suddenly,
she observed the flat chest of the girl was sprouting!

Though Uzo never got pregnant, the girl told Alice’s
mother that ‘daddy is always sleeping with me when
auntie goes to work.’

She managed to get a crèche where she put her children but when she was pregnant the third time, she could not help but get another maid. This time, she was a 14-year- old from her pastor. If Alice thought her husband would be scared of their pastor and not come near the girl, she was wrong! In fact, Susan, the maid, was the first teenager she took for an abórtion! The girl agreed to terminate the pregnancy after her mother collected over N100, 000 from Alice. It was to seal the promise not to tell the pastor or anyone in the church!

That marked the beginning of series of abórtions she had for over five girls. But her husband kept denying his action.

“I still believe Peace should keep this pregnancy and have the baby,” she heard Mary said as she jolted to reality.

“Why should I keep a pregnancy Mike has denied
paternity? What if she had slept with someone else?”

Alice said. “Both of us know your husband is responsible. That girl was brought by my sister from Togo and I don’t know what to tell her if anything happens to her,” Mary said.

For Alice, it seemed her world had come to an end.

THE EMPTY PROMISES OF A GENERALISMO

FA: Mr. General Sir, how long will it take you as president to bring back our girls?

GMB: We have all this while ensured their safety, so we will bring them back unfailingly in the first week of my
administration.

FA: What if the Boko Haram change their mind and refuse to give them back?

GMB: I am a general. I will personally take generators to Sambisa, light up the forest and locate the girls.

FA: How do you propose to do this, Sir?

GMB: Mind your business! It is top secret.

FA: Why did you go for the last Council of State meeting, Sir? For a long time, you have refused to attend.

GMB: I will soon be living in Aso Rock. I wanted to familiarize myself with my new home for the next eight years.

FA: What do you think of the postponement of the elections?

GMB: The election postponement was a military coup by President Jonathan and his agents. Coup-plotters should not be elected as president of democratic Nigeria.

FA: But Mr. General Sir, you yourself were a coup-plotter in 1984. You overthrew a democratic government. Nigerians remember you as the tyrant who terrorized their lives then.
Why should we vote for you now?

GMB: It is harsh to judge me by my 1984 record. Everybody knows that a military regime is different from a democratic government. A military regime must act militarily: it cannot act democratically. I told the Catholic bishops when I went to campaign with them:
“I am a new creature. Old things are passed away, behold all things are become new.” By the way,
that is from 1 Corinthians 6:17 in the bible. Be sure to include that for the benefit of my mushrooming Christian supporters.

FA: Do you now read the bible, Sir?

GMB: Of course! That is democracy. I even attended a
Thanksgiving Service in Lagos and pretended to sing some praise songs. I am the apostle of change. Have you not noticed I now wear a suit? That gimmick came from our American image-makers. When we are in power, we shall change everything. All cars in Nigeria will start driving on the left instead of on the right as from May 29, 2015. That should create at least two million new jobs.

FA: But General, Sir; you cannot change the scriptures.

GMB: What do you mean?

FA: The scripture you quoted is from 2 Corinthians 5:17 and not 1 Corinthians 6:17.

GMB: You are a very stupid boy. Just wait. We shall tamper with all of you when we are in power.

FA: Don’t you think you should at least apologise to Nigerians for the wicked things you did in the past?

GMB: You can keep waiting for apology if you want, but a general does not apologise for his actions. Never! I will win this election without any apologies. It is the PDP that needs to apologise to Nigerians for monopolizing power for the last 16 years.

FA: Were you in your right senses when you did those wicked things in the past?

GMB: You are mad! Foolish boy! Barawo! Admit it: you are a card-carrying member of the PDP. Nonsense!

FA: You said before that Moslems should not vote for non-Moslems. Should Christians vote for non-Christians like you in this election?

GMB: Do you know what change means? Get a dictionary and check. Change means change. It means to change. I am the change candidate. That means I have changed the things I was saying before. That’s called electioneering, in case you don’t know. Once we win the election, we will change back.

FA: Nevertheless, the basis on which you are asking Nigerians to vote for you is your anti-corruption stance in 1984. Why has that not changed?

GMB:You small boy. You think you can use this stupid logic to dabaru a whole general with embarrassing questions? You don’t know who you are dealing with. It is only a foolish man who believes everything he hears. There is change and there is change. Some things will change and some things will not. Once
I become Head of State, the problem of corruption in Nigeria will change forever.

FA: But Sir, you were Head of State before and your regime did not end corruption in Nigeria.

GMB: The problem of Nigeria is that people don’t have respect for their elders anymore. Look how you are questioning me. Am I your mate? Can’t you see I am a 72-year old man?

FA: Don’t be offended, Sir, this is an interview and we are supposed to ask probing questions.

GMB: You have no home-training. When I am presido, I will not be the father of the nation. I will be the grandfather of Nigeria.

FA: General Sir, the discussion was on corruption.

GMB: Of course, I know. Do you think I am going senile? As I said in Port Harcourt, I will ensure that there is no room for integrity in Nigeria.

FA: You mean no room for corruption, Sir.

GMB: That is what I said. FA: How will you achieve this, Sir? GMB: I will arrest all the corrupt people and send them to jail for 300 years.

FA: You might need to build a few more jailhouses then. The prisons are already over-congested.

GMB: Of course, yes. I will create one million jobs by building prisons and then lock all PDP members there.

FA: What about members of your own party, Sir?

GMB: Stupid boy. Don’t get smart with me. There are no corrupt people in APC.

FA: Sorry, Sir.

GMB: Sorry for you. Arrant nonsense! Do you think I just came up with these excellent ideas? I thought about them for a long long time. I will place corruption under arrest in Nigeria and send it to jail.

FA: Well done, Sir.

GMB: That’s more like it.

FA: Are you still in favour of the establishment of sharia throughout the country? Or have you changed in that one as well.

GMB: I am not here to answer stupid questions. I am running an issue-based campaign. Issue-based! This election is about the incompetence of the ruling party. It is about what the PDP has not done and not what the APC will do. In the meantime, our policies are top secret. But we can see that the ones of the
PDP are not working.

FA: General Sir, the issue of your school-leaving certificate is still making waves. Why not put the matter to rest by producing your original certificate?

GMB: It is an insult to ask a General to produce a WASC certificate. Any day, any time, a general is equivalent to a Ph.D. I have a Ph.D in coup-plotting, military strategies and Maitasine destruction. My CV is there for all to see and behold.

FA: But Sir, you signed an affidavit that your certificate is with the military.

GMB: Yes, I did. But during the bomb explosions at the Ikeja cantonment, regrettably the certificates were destroyed. In any case, I have asked Cambridge/WASC to send me the original certificate.

FA: When can we see it, Sir?

GMB: It is coming by ship. They have assured me that it will get here unfailingly by May 30th, 2015.

FA: The election would have been over by then, Sir.

GMB: There is nothing I can do about that.

FA: Mr. General, Sir, your vice-president said you will create 720,000 jobs a year if you are elected. How can that be effective when there are 1.8 million new job-seekers every year?

GMB: What Professor Osimbande was saying is that...

FA: Professor who, Sir?

GMB: Professor Osobombay…

FA: Who are you talking about, Sir?

GMB: You stupid boy, if it was in the days of Decree 4, I would have shown you pepper. You know who I am talking about.

FA: Yes Sir; Professor Osinbajo Sir.

GMB: Yes, what Professor Osimbande was saying is that we will start with 720,000. But soon, we will be creating millions and millions of jobs. In fact, under my administration, Nigeria will start exporting jobs. We will create so many jobs; we will export jobs to Ghana, Ivory Coast and the entire West African sub-region.

FA: Very good, Sir. Very wonderful!

GMB: You have seen nothing yet.

FA: What are your plans, Sir, for reviving the economy?

GMB: I have practical plans. Very practical plans!

FA: What are they, Sir?

GMB: Wait and see.

FA: I think, General Sir, Nigerians need to know what they are now.

GMB: I plan to expose the PDP as a very corrupt party.

FA: Very good, Sir, but the question is about your plans and not about the PDP.

GMB: My plans will take into consideration the effects of the bad government of the PDP over the years.

FA: Having taken that into consideration, what then will you do, General Sir?

GMB: I will assemble a team of top professionals up and down the country to study the situation.

FA: What else will you do, Sir?

GMB: I will single-handed increase the international price of oil to 200 dollars. That kind of magic can only take place under the All Progressives Confidence.

FA: What did you say, Sir?

GMB: What do you mean?

FA: Your party, Sir, what did you call it.

GMB: Are you mad? The All Progressives Confidence.

FA: But Sir, that is not the name of your party.

GMB: Stupid boy. What is the name?

FA: Your party is the All Progressives Congress, Sir.

GMB: Of course, I knew that. I just wanted to see whether you know it, that’s all.

FA: What happens, Sir, when you lose the election again?

GMB: Impossible!

FA: But Sir, what if you lose?

GMB: Then I will run away in 2019.

FA: You mean you will run again, Sir.

GMB: That’s what I said.

FA: At what age will you stop running, Sir?

GMB: Maybe at 102 years!

FA: Finally Sir, how are the dogs and the baboons doing?

GMB: The dogs and the baboons are doing very well for now.But if there is any hanky-panky on March 28, I assure you they will all be soaked in blood.